It's camp time again

In one week my son Will and I will be at our camp again for camp meeting. I have been going since I was 6 (33 years oh my!) and my son has been going for 10 years (since he was 1 week old!). I've written about Empire Grove before. It is the balm to my battered soul, it is where I am closest to my God and my grandfather, and where I find peace.

As my son started to grow up and struggle more and more it's been harder and harder for Will to enjoy camp. It's such a foreign environment to him now. It does not hold the same structure as home does. There is too much freedom, too many kids running and riding bikes ( Will doesn't run fast, and can't ride a bike). These kids don't understand Will, they don't want to play what he wants to play and he can't keep up with their play. Can we say beyond frustrating?

And so he struggles.... We had a couple of years that were disasters. Last year was better, and I'm hoping this year will be amazing by our standards. We have spent a couple weekends at camp since Will was in Spring Harbor and they went very well.

This year should be particularly interesting as we are putting on a musical (it's one I did 30 years ago at the Grove!- wow time flies. I'm starting to feel old lol) and I really want to be in it. I haven't sung in too many years to count and I really miss it. I'm hoping Will is able to cope with me participating. However, this means we CAN'T leave early as I will be needed for all rehearsals and for the performance. Can he handle it? Do I dare try?

The last several years I have not participated in much because Will needed me more. Don't get me wrong, I don't resent any choices I've made in regards to this. I guess I'm just leery of pushing this, because I want to spend the entire week there. In fact, I guess you could say I need this time. Yes, I'm being selfish in this but I deserve to be selfish once in a blue moon right?

So, the question is...... because Will is getting older, and doing better, do I take this experience to try and push him a little? OR Do I keep things status quo so I have a better chance of being able to have my full week at the Grove?

Do I participate in something that brings me great joy knowing it will make the week more stressful? OR Do I pass on this opportunity to keep the peace?

I'm really struggling with this. To top it all off I have to consider my MS. I've had a lot of symptoms lately and they are exacerbated by stress and heat. (always a lot hotter at camp then at home)

How much is too much? Anyone? Anyone?