Anxiety part three

So I went to the drs today. They did an EKG. Then I talked to the dr. The good news: my heart is fine. Strong regular heart beat, not enlarged, no sign of any distress. The bad news: surprise! It's stress and depression. I am being put back on depression meds, was told to go for walks, talk to a good friend, cry, reduce the stress in my life.
Here's my problem with that: there's nothing I can really do to reduce the stress in my life, it is all out of my hands. (I am trying to work on how I deal with that stress, really I am). Going for a walk is hard but not impossible. I'm so tired all the time I just have to break this cycle and get out there and do it. Talking to a friend, well, I only have one friend that I talk to regularly, she has so much on her plate, and let's get real here- who wants to hear someone constantly talking about all the problems? I know she would get sick of me real soon if I complained any more. (I'm trying to be more positive in my thoughts and words and deeds). The last thing is crying- he thinks I should cry a lot. I hate to cry, I am so programed now that I am fighting to stop the tears as soon as they start (which is all the time now), I also can't stand being all stuffy during and after as well as my eyes hurt for hours after 2 min of crying, if I really let go they would never feel ok again!
So, this journey has thrown a few more curves into it, but who wants to walk down a straight road anyway right? Right? I know I'll be fine and will come out as a stronger, more empowered, more compassionate woman. Now if I could only learn acceptance, every time I think I've accepted and let go of my "stuff" it rises up to bite me once again. When will I learn the lessons I'm being taught?

A new start.....

I've now officially started my third blog. What am I thinking? Am I crazy? Why three?
Well, I can at least answer the last question. The reason for three blogs, is that they are all for different reasons.
An art-filled life is for the creative side to be expressed. I've missed that side for too long, therefor I now have a forum to share it, to continue to be inspired and maybe inspire someone else.
Emily's perspective is a unique take on some of the experiences I have in life and how I look at them with humor.
This blog is because I need a place to process that which is my life. It is not meant to be looked at as a pity party, or for people to think my life is hard, or that I think it is harder than anyone else's. It is simply a place for me to talk, in writing form, about my life. To travel down a path of acceptance, learn to love myself as I should and start again in living a joy-filled life. If anyone decides to read and follow this blog I hope it helps, knowing that you are not alone, and I hope I feel less lonely in the process. I hope there will be some insight, wisdom and even humor at times.
I'm not the best writer, so here's hoping.