Monday, July 9, 2012

Today started like any other day

Having a long stretch of good behavior makes me worry the longer it lasts. Why? I'm waiting for the other show to drop. Now this begs the question am I manifesting the meltdowns when they happen?

I happen to strongly believe in the idea of "thought before form" and "like attracts like". Maybe a little weird for some, I definitely think I believe this so strongly has to do with my REIKI and Polarity training. These are both forms of energy work which gently brings your body into alignment and balance as well as boosts peace and well being.

Today started out like any other day in the recent past. We had a slow morning, then I dropped Will off at school for 3 hours. When I went to pick him up he was all excited showing me a sign he made for selling seaweed at the beach. (yeah, he's brilliant, funny, inventive and a little weird sometimes. But he's mine and I wouldn't change him at all.)

When I explained that his dad would be over in an hour so I could go to work and I hadn't eaten lunch yet so going to the beach wouldn't be happening in the next hour he became upset. This lasted when I said no to a rootbeer and then told him to "take some time" to calm and let me finish a phone call to a dear friend who just got home from the hospital.

Anyway, he started screaming and swearing at me his best(worst) was calling me a "f-ing B". I took the laptop he's been borrowing from his dad and put it away. He did not take this well. This is the point he physically started attacking me. Hitting, kicking, scratching and the occasional bite. Throughout he was screaming it was all my fault, that I was making him act like this, I was making him keep being angry (I had removed myself from the room and was ignoring him at this point, but hey I guess I can see how I was continuing the escalation....)

When he realized I wasn't taking the bait he finally had his emotional release and cried. He then apologized for- get this, MY inability to take responsibility for causing and perpetuating the meltdown. (my words, he's smart but he's not using words like perpetuate quite yet.). THEN he apologized for swearing, hitting, etc. I was then told that we BOTH need to work on our tempers. This kid is too smart for my own good.

I was asked if I accepted his apology. He sat right up close to me on the couch with tears in his eyes. What could I say? "yes honey, I accept your apology. Thank you for apologizing."

From that moment on, all was right in his world again. He turned his back to me and told (not asked) me to scratch his back. Back scratching is his most used coping tool. We use it when he's upset, de-escalating, tired, etc. and sometimes just cause he has an itch.

So the question begs asking: did I manifest this meltdown because I have been thinking we were due for one anytime now? Or was it just a natural event that would have happened even if I had been thinking of puppies and kittens?

No comments:

Post a Comment