Aspie vs boy

As time goes by I'm having a harder and harder time distinguishing my sons behaviors. Are they aspie traits? Or is this what all little boys do?

Ever since we got the diagnosis I think I have used it to explain everything h away. I justified this because my son was not a "typical" boy. He had no interest in anything I would think of as boy stuff. In fact for the last couple of years he was adamant he was a girl. He has since told me in the last couple months that he is definitely a boy.

Do other parents do this? I had to bring Will to my office a few weeks ago. I needed to talk to my manager about work stuff. Will ended up in someone's office showing them his game on his DS. He explained the intricacies of the game. The next day my coworker said she enjoyed missing Will. I said something about his obsessive aspie trait with all things electronic. She responded with: "sounds just like a boy to me."

Huh, it does doesn't it. How often do I explain to myself and others behaviors as aspie when it most likely a boy being a boy.

I have a feeling I'm too quick to jump on the aspie train and not quick enough to realize that I have a boy, and boys will be boys.

Am I the only parent who has done this? Does it really matter if I can't tell the difference sometimes?

Breathe, just breathe

Well, it's been a few days.  Sunday was the last great day Will has had.  That is not to say he has had a horrible time of things, but he has had several very hard moments at school every day since.  The school photocopied some of the notes he wrote. " I feel every bad feeling mixed together.  It makes myself feel like I'm going to die."
"I hate everybody especially myself."

This just breaks my heart.  That he feels this way and I can't help him.  In home support is starting and will hopefully help.  Last night while laying in bed, he started picking at himself.  This has become quite the habit.  He has scars all over his face, his ear is particularly bad.  I asked him not to and tried to distract him.  He told me it made him feel better, but couldn't articulate why.  All he would say is that he hates himself.  He makes me want to cry.

Then when he had stopped picking he asked me how old you have to be to get a sex change operation. (his words were "how old do you have to be to have surgery to go from a boy to a girl?"  I told him that had to wait till a person was an adult.  He said "oh"  Then told me that he wanted me to fix his hair like a girl, in ponytails and braids.  I reminded him that hair had to be long enough for that and his wasn't there yet.  He does know that he is growing his hair out longer so it will just take time.

As you can see, I still think of Will as a he.  It gets difficult sometimes, when Will actively acts and addresses himself as a boy, but then sometimes will let you know that Will is Willow, a girl.  I'm trying to figure out how to address Will, how to make it right and let him/her know that I love Will for Will, not because Will is a boy or a girl.  I can only hope it helps that I support whatever Will wants (as long as it doesn't hurt Will) and that his father will be just as supportive of Wills journey of self discovery.

Life has not been easy for this little kid, and it doesn't look like it will be getting easier anytime soon.  Please pray for Will.........and I will continue to breathe.........