Hello.......and goodbye.......

My son and I have been very fortunate in that he qualifies for in-home support. In the last 2 years we have had five different staff help support us through section 65 (behavioral support) and we've had two staff through section 28 (behavioral AND life skills) and we now have Specialized 28 (this is an amazing service...they do it all: socialization, life skills, behavioral and almost anything else I can dream up.). In the 2 months we've had this service we have already had four staff.

First I want to say how wonderful these services are....my son folds his own laundry now (I do turn it all right side out and tuck in the pockets), he loads and unloads the dishwasher, makes his bed and cleans his room, he vacuums, changes the sheets on his bed every week. Then they also support him in drama club two days a week, take him out in the community and learning all the skills of turn taking, using coping techniques and using words instead of fists.

Over the last couple years Will has grown so very much with all the help and support he has gotten from all these wonderful staff. (Of course staying at Spring Harbor last winter was a life altering chapter in his life) one thing that I marvel at is Will's ability to accepting the fluidity of staff changes in his life. He copes better than I do. I see these amazing people come into our life and make it better only to see them leave in a few short months. It makes me sad, I want to have them move into my house and never leave. Will however, says "Hi, come on in" welcoming them in with open arms and accepting their role in his life. When the time comes for them to walk out he smiles and says "Bye."

I think of the two of us he is the smarter....with a couple of exceptions every staff has been amazing, and they ALL have had valuable skills and insights to offer. If some didn't leave, we wouldn't have fresh new people/skills coming in. This weekend we said goodbye to a great staff, Will chose to go bowling as a goodbye outing. While there he had a wonderful time, he got his first strike and the look on his face said it all. What a joy that evening was. While there a new staff stopped in to meet Will. I think I'm excited to work with him, unlike other staff we've had he is a little older and has a child on the autism spectrum himself.

People come and people go in our lives, it is up to us how we choose to look at the changes. We can choose to hold on to the old, or we can choose to graciously let go with a "bye" and a smile to open ourselves up to new experiences and people who can enrich our lives in new ways. What will you choose to do? I choose the later......

I feel a rant coming on....

I love what I do for work (well, most of the time). I have spent a month turning myself and my schedule inside out trying to make the schedule work at all 3 programs I work in. See, my manager has happily handed over the scheduling for all 3 to me. I have been doing the schedule for the last year. Sometimes it's ok - like when no one wants time off and we are fully staffed - and other times it's a nightmare. Well, it's been a nightmare for over a month straight. We are no longer allowed to use any overtime. So finding coverage for vacations has become a much more frustrating, impossible and overwhelming ordeal.

I have been covering shifts every week and tweaking my regular hours to minimize the overtime. Well, I have had a call out for this afternoon (that's right, on the 4th of July. Cause people are just lined up to work a holiday for a company that doesn't pay holiday pay- you smelled the sarcasm right?) well, I'm covering at said house this morning because day programs are closed and now I'm stuck here with mandatory overtime. Oh well, sucks to be me right? Well, it's not just me...I'm supposed to be at my regular Wednesday shift 3-11pm at another house. See where I'm going with this? Not only am I stuck here, my other staff is stuck at the other house on his time off. No one wants to cancel their plans and help out, so my coworker and I are stuck at our respective programs.

Ok, that wasn't the rant.....really? Yes really. That was just the set up for my rant. I'll try to keep it short and sweet. Here goes:

My soon to be ex came over to watch Will this morning, saw I was upset and said to me: there's no reason to get upset, it's nothing personal right? Well, it's ALWAYS personal to someone. The company changes a schedule- its unavoidable, it needed to be done, it's nothing personal. Ok, I get that it needed to be done, but it's personal for the people who now have to rearrange their schedules and make it work for them and their families. A company has to make budget cuts and can't afford for staff to eat the food at programs, but it's nothing personal. Really? Again, I get that budget cuts have to happen and the money has to come from somewhere, but it's personal to the people who were counting on those meals when at work because they can't afford to buy more food every week. A company has mandatory overtime because life happens and sometimes people don't show for a shift or call out. We can't leave our consumers alone can we? It's nothing personal. Well, it is personal for the person who has to work a double (or in my case a triple one time) and has to cancel important plans with family, friends, other jobs.

So yes, I take it personally when I and the people I work with get stuck with the unfair changes to their lives and schedules. I understand it's unavoidable, but it doesn't mean it's not personal. So why am I supposed to harden my heart and not care? It IS personal, and someone needs to acknowledge that and feel it so that it can be handled with as much compassion and understanding as possible.

There, I'm done now. Have a wonderful day.