Me and my MS

I try to be positive in everything I do, think and be. I know I have my moments, and honestly, this is one of them. So please forgive me for taking tonight to vent (again) I promise I will be positive again tomorrow.

I have MS. I was diagnosed 7 years ago and overall I think I have accepted it pretty well. Then there are days like today, I resent my MS! I hate that I am not able to do things I should be. I have days like today when I get so discouraged. I live every day with the silent symptoms. The tingling, the random joint pains, the pins and needles feelings, and the worst: FATIGUE. Of course, no one can see my symptoms, so I look fine. That's a good thing, but can also hurt me at times. Of course, I usually hurt myself.

I get so frustrated with my limitations that I push myself much further than my body can actually handle. Sometimes it's accidentally, I feel absolutely fine until I've gone too far and it hits me like a ton of bricks. Then there are days like yesterday when I do something I KNOW I shouldn't. I mowed the lawn at work. Now, that doesn't sound so bad right? For a normal person it's not. For me? I get sick, and have major fatigue for days. The day after (today) is always the worst. I can barely move my arms. My legs aren't quite as bad. I am having to really push myself to move at all, as soon as I sit it feels like I'm paralyzed (even though I know I'm not) but to get moving again is a Herculean effort.

It doesn't help that I also have a new symptom: tremors, yeah me! So my hands are shaking slightly and between that and the lack of strength writing this is an effort- auto correct is my friend tonight.

I will be fine in a few days, by the end of the week for sure. And my wonderful optimistic sense will be restored by tomorrow. Thank you for letting me rant about the stupidity of MS, but at times like these when I'm reminded of my imposed limitations that it gets a little overwhelming.

Life is great.....This is Gods way of telling me to take care of myself right?