Spring Harbor

I dreaded telling Will about the hospital. I didn't know how or when, so I gave it up to God to decide the when and how. When the time came he was all for it as long as they helped him to not hurt all the time. He's actually been bugging me about when.

We got the call Monday that today was the day. Will could barely sleep last night he was so excited. He helped pack his bag last night. He can take only a limited amount of stuff, but he didn't mind.

I let Will sleep with me last night. (Pretty sure it was more for me than him). It took forever for him to fall asleep, then I spent the night cuddling and listening to him breathe (and snore). We played this morning then left the house. We went to Dunkin Donuts for breakfast with his dad. (thought Will might enjoy it, even though I'm having a hard time being around "dad" lately). I know Will has a tendency to eat fast, but wow! He inhaled that donut and chocolate milk! Then wiped his mouth on the bag!

I spent 4+ hours being bombarded with questioned by the team at the hospital so they can start his behavioral plan. After I went in search of my son, he was hanging in the sensory room having fun. He gave me a hug and told me he loved me and sent me on my way.

I was quite proud of myself. I was upbeat and smiling and joking before and during the meeting. Walking out the door is when I started falling apart. I am now home, and have been for 1&1/2 hrs now. I don't want to be here! I don't want to be anywhere. I want my son back with me.

I guess it's easier knowing he wants to be there, and is getting the help he needs. I can't imagine how I'd feel if he didn't want to be there. So now it's dealing with my own feelings on the matter, however, I'm not real good with that. Guess I better get better at it huh?

That's it for now, I'm going to hibernate for a while, visit Will tomorrow and breathe, just breathe........