I've been the substitute person all of my life

This is a line from the movie ElizabethTown. This line also struck a chord with me. It's how I feel a lot of the time. There are quite a few people in my life who make me feel like that is my role in their life. (Correction: I ALLOW them to treat me this way)

I understand that I would be the last person someone would call about getting together to go out. I mean, unless you think that coming to my house to hang out is fun (and let's face it, it certainly could be.....I can rock it like nobody's business!) I don't have any real opportunities to go out because I have my son and can't afford a babysitter so I can go out on the town.

However, I also feel like I'm the last resort for some friends for a phone call as well. I was recently FB instant messaging with a friend who all of a sudden disappeared from the conversation. No goodbye, no explanations, just gone...... Come to find out his girlfriend just got online so he'd rather talk to her. That's fine I guess, but don't I deserve a little consideration? Why am I supposed to sit around and wait for you to decide I'm worthy of your attention only to drop me as soon as someone better comes along?

I know I've been struggling lately with my self esteem and handling all the stress that has been coming my way lately, but I still know that I am worthy. I deserve to be important to someone. I deserve to be the first person someone wants to talk to or see, not the last.