A Walk.....

yesterday I decided that sitting around not eating was not helping. I have a lot to think about, I also need to be moe active. So I went for a walk.

The GreenBelt is a bike/walking path very close to my home. I haven't walked more than a mile in a very long time. Yesterday, I walked for an hour. I walked 4 miles. Not too bad.....

I got a lot of thinking done, not a lot of answers, nothing is any clearer, but I think I am on my way. I hope I am. If you read my earlier post from yesterday you know that I am kind of a bundle of insecurities and an emotional mess right now. That's ok, I know I will figure it all out, I know that I will be fine, I don't have to have all the answers, I also don't have to be happy every moment. But it sure stinks being stuck feeling so lost, emotional and insecure.

I don't think stress/life/whatever has ever affected me so strongly before. (This is where I think hormones are playing a part) I have barely eaten anything in 4&1/2 days. (I had 4 triscuits the other night, a bowl of tomato soup/ string cheese and a cup of homemade apple sauce yesterday). I just have no appetite. My stomach is telling me its hungry, but my head is saying......bleck. I'm almost nauseous looking at food. I will find myself thinking "hmm, I'm hungry" and I will go to the kitchen to get something. As soon as I start looking, I'm done. Don't want it. On top of this, I have just realized how dehydrated I am. Last night my tibialis anteriors both started cramping up on me. A sure sign of dehydration....

When a person wakes in the morning, one of the first thoughts is: I have to pee. I woke this morning without this urge. At 10:30 (while at the office) I finally felt like I had to pee. There wasn't much, and what was there was a dark orange color. I've taken enough A&P classes, and am smart enough to know that this is not good. Not at all. It is now 1:30 in the afternoon, and I still haven't been able to make myself drink. What is going on? Other than feeling a little lightheaded, tired (but I'm also not sleeping that great) and my legs being sore from all the cramping I'm feeling ok- just hope I can figure out the emotional turmoil and how to take care of myself in that respect. If I can do that, I think the rest will fall into place........