I'm so proud of him too. At the end of the last school year I kept getting notes from school talking about how the teachers kept talking to Will about tattling. The second to last day I found out that a couple of the kids we giving him a hard time and when Will would say something to the teachers HE would get in trouble for tattling. Really? Are you freaking kidding me? No wonder I hadn't been able to get a straight answer from the teachers!
When summer school started Will told me a few days into it that he was having the same problem-- low and behold I look at the daily notes and my son is in trouble for tattling. AGAIN. So I went into the school the next day and tracked down the social worker (she's new as of summer school. I had met her before when she was an intern a few years ago with the social worker I've worked with since kindergarten.) and told her what had been going on and how Will's dad and I had taught him to go to the teacher when he was being bothered and unable to handle the situation appropriately himself. I explained how confusing it must be for a child who already has significant deficits in social skills to be given such mixed messages. His parents are telling him how to handle a difficult situation and then his teachers are making him feel and telling him he is wrong for doing the right thing?
I have to say that the bullying appears to have started when Will came back from Spring Harbor. He learned such great skills while there. One of which is his new ability to see behaviors in others and know that he doesn't want to be around said behaviors and appropriately ask to not be around those behaviors.
Because he didn't want to be around a friend when the friend was struggling with difficult behaviors ( I believe because Will didn't want to be triggered into behaviors of his own. Does that even make sense?) and asked to move seats. He even told that child he was still his friend, he just needed a little space. This is when things started to change and several of the other kids started be mean to Will.
I must say, as a mom I want to go into that school and slap these kids, then yell at their parents for raising bullies. This of course is the overprotective side of being a mom of an ASD kid, or any kid I assume. The rest of me realizes that all the kids in that classroom are there for a reason. They all have their struggles and are doing the best they can and learning on their own timetable. Their parents are also doing the best they can I am sure. I have met most of the parents and they all seem to be very nice people and working really hard to do everything they can for their kids. But sometimes........
So, I woke this morning to find an email from Will's new teacher (another change I wasn't thrilled with but may just be one of the best changes so far- see? I can accept change...) telling me about how a couple of the other kids have been bullying Will both days of school and how Will is doing a fantastic job ignoring and earning stats for such good ignoring. It was also great to hear they have implemented a bullying program (anti bullying program?) in the classroom and they have been working every day to teach these kiddos why it is wrong to bully and how to deal with their differences. I am super impressed and hop this is a sign of a great last year in elementary school.
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