I have spent a lot of the last week crying. Upset about my grandfather sick, my manager and the treatment I have been getting from her, and mostly about the fact that I am back on depression medication and appear to have a fairly severe case of depression and anxiety.
I find the last 2 days there has been little to no crying over these things. I'm feeling much more positive and focused. Could it be the medication I'm on? Not likely as I've only been on it a week and I've forgotten at least 2 doses, and it takes 4-6 weeks to build up in my system according to the doctors. Do I not need the medication? Have I stumbled upon the answers myself unknowingly? Probably not. This is most likely a lull in the storm that is my emotional breakdown. I'll take it though.......
I think that having more positives to focus on helps, visualizing where I want to be and steps to get me there help, hugs from my son definitely help. ;-) As for the rest.........I'll try to take it one day at a time. If I cry, I cry. I have to learn to accept those uncomfortable feelings and let them out instead of suppressing them as soon as they start. If I let it out and trust that I will stop eventually maybe I can finally really let go. Cause I keep thinking I've let go, but stuff keeps coming back. Maybe this is the key to letting go. If I ever bring myself to really sit with the pain and cry it out, I'll let you know, in the mean time I'll try.....
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