Stupidity

I want to first start off relaying my morning.  I have already shared about my depression being back, anxiety rising, well, I'm realizing I'm not handling some things well.  I had a really upsetting time at work over the last couple of days.  My manager has not been treating me with any respect and I've been having a hard time processing and moving on.  Case in point: I talked to a dear friend this morning, as I was going over everything again she stopped me and asked me "What's something positive in your life?"  That was all it took, I couldn't even answer her at first I just thanked her.  That was all it took to get me out of my own way.  My positive was getting to put my son to bed after being at work and missing that activity for 4 days. 
I'm still upset, don't get me wrong, but it doesn't seem so all-consuming when I remember that there are positives in my life.  I have since found a few more, I got to work with a wonderful, insightful woman I am blessed enough to call my friend as well as co-worker, I have a home, my car is still working, I have my parents, and I have some wonderful friends who are there to help me pick up the pieces when I drop them.  I am blessed.
Now on to the stupid part.  I work as a lead DSP.  That means I am an assistant manager who works in the programs doing direct support with our consumers.  There are 7 of us leads in the company.  One of these women projects a lot of negativity, she has also made it her mission to make mean, spiteful comments to me and make fun of me to my face with the pretense of joking.  I know what she is doing, I realized it with the first snarky  comment she made.  I also knew I had options as to how I wanted to deal with her.  1. I could be just as mean and snarky towards her- but I'm not like that.  2. I could confront her-but I seriously believe this would give her too much satisfaction and it would encourage her. 3. I could run to our bosses and complain- I believe this would also have negative results as I don't believe she will ever change who she is, and then I'm known as the trouble-maker with the other leads, and a pain who can't take care of herself with the management. 4. I could ignore her, and even laugh at myself once in a while.  This is what I chose.  Her comments and attitude doesn't affect me.  Why should it, she says I act like a fool.  Well, I do sometimes but I don't see that as a negative.  As for her other comments-- it doesn't matter, I know who I am and that I'm great at my job, my clients like and respect me (most of the time) and I like who I am.  So how can her comments bother me?  They don't.   Here's where the stupidity comes in---------she is best buddies with one of my staff.  They like to get together and talk about how I keep getting "slammed" and I don't even get it because I'm too stupid.  I found out they think this is hilarious, my staff thinks it's so funny she shared it with another staff (happens to be my friend).  So what does that make them?  If I know what's being done and the true intent behind the words but have chosen to just ignore it and not sink to that level, and they haven't even thought that I might be smart enough to figure it all out and take a different path then they would, and then they share the hilarity with others who actually know that I'm smart enough......What does that make them?  Actually, it doesn't matter, it's not worth the time to figure it out.
Now here's another epiphany: If I can say that the above doesn't bother me, that I know my own worth, and that I'm happy with who I am,  and really mean it.  Why doesn't that translate into what happened with my boss?  Or some other areas in my life where I don't feel good enough?  Is it because I need to prove to others who are my superiors that I'm good enough and deserve to be here?  Why in these circumstances do I feel so unsure of myself?  Something for me to start exploring in more depth.