So, I finally called my doctors office today. I figured it was time, I had a friend and our case manager (also a friend) tell me I should. Also at a school meeting about my son's struggles I walked all over the school with no trouble, but when I went home I walked from the living room to the kitchen (not that far, maybe 30 steps if that) I was out of breath and my heart was racing. Well, probably not, but it felt that way. I give up. Time to make the call. As it turns out, they want to see me. Go figure.
They asked me to come in this afternoon. I explained that I was on my way to work. I was single staffed, and working with adults with disabilities. There was no way I could get there. They kept stressing that I needed to take care of myself. Isn't that what I was doing by calling? So now I have an appointment tomorrow with a doctor. They want to run some tests including an EKG and labs. Of what joy, what rapture! I don't want to go!!! I want to bury my head in the sand and ignore, ignore, ignore. But I'm an adult, I need to take care of myself, even though I'm terrible at it- see: not losing weight, depression untreated, etc. etc... I need to be here for my son. I know his dad loves him, but I really don't trust that if I was not around he would do everything necessary to give our son what he needs and deserves.
So, tomorrow morning I will get my son ready for school, on the bus, then put on my BIG GIRL PANTIES and go to the doctors office to be poked and prodded. Maybe I can get some good material for my other blog http://emilysperspective.blogspot.com/ . This is what my life has been reduced to, looking for the weird and strange things that happen to me (or at least my weird and strange way of looking at things) to be fodder for others entertainment. (ok, it entertains me too....)
Wish me luck......
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