Traditions

This is the time of year that I really sit down and think about my family traditions.  I mean, we have some throughout the year, but most are during the holidays.  I also think about how they have changed over the years.  All holidays were spent at The Farm until my grandmother couldn't handle doing it any more.  This actually only happened when her Alzheimer's got to a point where she couldn't cope.  It was heart breaking for me, but the traditions didn't die, they just changed.  After a while they felt almost as good.  We spend Thanksgiving at my aunt Kathy's house.  She and my uncle Cliff make the best Thanksgiving meal around.  (Sadly I can't remember if Grams was better or just as good.)  Christmas was spent alternating between my parents house and my Aunt Patty's.  Then my mother's health got to a point to where we celebrate Christmas at Patty's every year.
Our family Christmas was always everyone on my mother's side of the family gathering on Christmas Eve.  We'd have a big meal,   open presents.  We now do a Yankee swap, as it's too expensive to get everyone something, with the exception of the children still in grade school.  We now plan our Christmas party for some weekend in December that works for the majority of the people that can come.  My son and I spend Christmas eve at my parents home.
As you can see, our traditions are still in tact in some form or another.  However there is another tradition , which is being severely altered and maybe even cancelled this year.  This is our tradition of making pip-a-neir.  What is pip-a-neir you ask?  It is a danish cookie, similar to a molasses cookie, only looks like doggie kibble.  (Yes, I know, this works to my advantage though, I bring it with me and no one wants to try it because they think I'm eating dog food.  Got to love the Danes!)  Ever since I remember I have been making this cookie.  When my Gram was alive and well, we ALWAYS made it the Friday right after Thanksgiving.  We would all (grand kids, and sometimes a few adults) gather at The Farm and work in the kitchen with Gram while listening and singing to Christmas carols.  When my Gram could no longer host this, my aunt Patty was kind enough to host every year since.  It isn't on Fridays anymore though.  But it is usually that first weekend after Thanksgiving.  So I don't feel like it's changed too much. 
I got a call from my aunt today, telling  me my cousin Kate can not be there for pip-a-neir, so we won't be doing it this weekend.  She also didn't know if it would happen at all.  Can I tell you, this is devastating to me.  I know it's only cookies, but it's the holiday tradition that makes me feel closest to Gram.  She was and is one of my 2 true heroes.   She taught me so much in my life.  About life, love, family, tradition, and above all: how to enjoy life.  How to live.....  I miss her every day, I think of her often.  It gets a little harder and sadder around the holidays, but that's ok.  She is in my heart, and will always be there.
These traditions bring me a feeling of peace and of being a little closer to Gram.  So I think I will go to the store and get the ingredients so Will and I can make our own pip-a-neir.  We may not be with the rest of the family, but he and I will carry on that tradition together, and I will remember.....and be grateful.