Holidays have a way of being overwhelming to the general population. They are much more so to a child with special needs. We have now entered the most stressful time of all. Most people can handle the bombardment of sensory input with a certain amount of ease. These special children have a harder time. They can not process all the input coming at they from every direction. These children are on overload, from the word go.
My son is one of these children. I have been dreading the holidays for this reason. I have been expecting melt down after melt down. Tantrum after tantrum. As well as a few bruises along the way. I can't say what the rest of this season will bring, but so far my son has blown me away with his ability to deal with Thanksgiving. We went to my aunts house as usual, Will brought his laptop to use as a way of calming himself. He was a little withdrawn, but that's OK. With so many people there, and a TV loudly playing a football game, I'm really not surprised. When it came time to eat, he tried a few things I asked him to, (even though he didn't want them) and almost cleaned his plate. He asked to be excused, he thanked people for moving for him so he could leave the table. He thanked my aunt and uncle for the meal. When he had had enough, he quietly asked if we could leave. So we left. No dessert for us, (but then again I REALLY don't need it). We brought left overs to my parents house--my mother's on bed rest and so my parents didn't go--Will played a little there. My parents asked him questions, he told them quietly and calmly he didn't want to answer questions. When they continued, he got a little agitated, but remained in control.
We got home and had a quiet evening, with mo melt downs. This is usually the time where he falls apart. He holds it together so well for so long and then the least little thing will send him over the edge. But not tonight! Went to bed and fell asleep quickly.
We woke this morning, had a quiet morning, I put the tree together. He was patient, but told me frequently that he wanted me to take a break and play with him. When I was done with the tree, he actually helped me for a little while, I stopped and played. Then I set on the lights. Again he offered to help for a short while, encouraging me when he saw I was getting frustrated. Told me it was OK and I could stop for a while o play with him since he missed me and didn't want me to get angry. I stopped, we played, we laughed, and I got back to work.
When I was done with the lights I asked him if he was ready to help put up the decorations. He said "Not now." We waited. I asked 3 times, every time I got the same response. I finally, with a frustrated tinged voice, asked him to pick a time. The cracks appeared. He told me he didn't want to put the decorations up, he wanted to get out of the house. We went to the library. He researched hamsters, and took out three books on them to read at home. I got out the decorations, he stated he would put on the garlands, and that I could take a picture of him holding them in his hands. I must admit, I took advantage. I turned off the sound to my phone a took a few more.
The rest of the evening passed in giggles and smiles. There was no arguments over dinner, meds, bath, or brushing teeth. We went upstairs at 7pm and read the rest of a book we were already reading from the library, and he quickly fell asleep, even with protest that he was too tired to sleep.
I must admit, I was relieved. I imagined full blown melt downs last night and most of today, but my boy is growing up. This of course doesn't mean I won't get them tomorrow, or somewhere throughout the rest of the season, but for now things are good. We will keep things very low key for the next month, hoping to continue this good fortune, but there's too much out there in the world for it not to affect him. Whatever happens, he is my beautiful son, I love him more than life itself, and will always be proud of the way he manages to cope with this overwhelming, sensory saturated world we live in. He is my hope, my inspiration, and my heart.
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| This is the only authorized picture in the bunch |
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