Up and down

Overall things have been good lately. However, I'm feeling very unsettled. I don't know why, it's like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop you know?

Will has been doing fairly well, been using a lot of profanity lately. (He's heard it all before but after an overnight with his Papa who was frustrated and swearing a LOT- can we say F-bomb anyone? He's been using said word every chance he gets when angry- even at school) He's also been getting very angry when his father and I won't buy him anything while at stores. There's been a general low level of frustration, however, overall he has done an amazing job handling himself and managing his frustrations.

Soon-to-be-ex is being himself- great in some aspects and irritating in other aspects. He still acts like he still lives at my house when there, shows up early to "hang out" on his own, still leaves his stuff in the basement and garage. Does his laundry every week at my house, records his tv shows on my DVR do he doesn't have to pay for one. Uses my Internet so he doesn't have to pay for his own etc, etc, etc. he agreed to watch Will yesterday but then let his dad watch him instead so he could stay with his girlfriend, but when he takes a trip I have to take vacation time from work or bring Will to work with me without being asked. It's just an expectation he has. Ok, so I went off on a tangent... Can you blame me for needing to vent from time to time? Like how he promised to help with the lawn (dr says I shouldn't do it) and he hasn't helped in 2 years. The only help he offers on that front is when he tells me how to do it. Again, off topic.... Sorry

My parents are my parents. They never change, I worry about them constantly, I won't get into all the issues out of respect for their privacy, but I worry a lot.

Then there's my health, as you know there have been a lot of MS symptoms lately which have been frustrating but tolerable. I've been keeping kind of quiet the last couple of days and things are feeling better.

So, I find myself having moments where I feel great, and moments where I'm unsettled. When I saw my dr the other day he was pleased at how I seem to be doing and took me off my depression and anxiety meds. Could that be the problem? Am I having anxiety over trying to maintain my happy place without medicinal help? Hard to believe but could be possible I guess. I hate taking and being dependent on medication, but on the other hand I've been doing very well (despite the frustrations and set backs)

I guess I can only go forward and hope, and pray that I continue to work on myself and move forward. If I have set backs I need to learn to ask for help, and there's no shame in going back on medications if I need to.

Let go and let God!