Friday, February 14, 2014

Haircuts....quite the controversy

My son Will came to me asking for a haircut. He was very specific in what he wanted. (It's NOT a look I like for him)



I think it's kind of silly, and wouldn't loom great on him. However, it's hair.....it grows out right?  What's the problem with letting him get the haircut of his choice?  

This has brought out some passionate responses in my family and friends. Some are all for it, while others are adamantly against it.   Some feel that he can start making some self expression choices at 11&1/2 and if he looks silly he will learn to make a different choice, hair can be shaved off and hats are available. Others have expressed that he is already seen as different so why exacerbate that and call more negative attention to him?  

Who's right?  Who's wrong?  I'm not sure there is a right or wrong, I think every parent needs to make their own decision based on what feels right to them. I think everyone who weighed in on the conversation has Wills best interests at heart and just want to see him safe and happy (and not a target for cruel remarks). 

What was my choice?  Well, I was kind of split down the middle, being able to see and relate to both sides. What I ended up doing was having a few conversations with Will about his choice. We talked about hair styles not fitting everyone. People have different hair types (his is like mine- thin and fine). We talked about the stylist knowing more about what will work and what won't and discussing it with her. Will was very open to these discussions and did a fantastic job listening and agreeing to all this. 

When there we showed the stylist the picture above and discussed modifications. We went with a similar cut, a little longer on the sides and quite a bit shorter on top so he can more easily style it when he wants...and if he decides not to, it still looks good.   Well, we think so.   So I guess my choice was to have a little control over the decision, but to let Will be Will and express himself. 

I try to always ask myself in these situations: Will it hurt anyone?  If the answer is no, and it makes Will happy, I don't see the harm (most of the time).  He is pretty secure in himself and who he is when it comes to these things, and doesn't appear to look for outside validation. If he hung the moon on what everyone else thought of him would I make different decisions?  I don't know... I have to start letting him do his own thing sometime right?  

Baby steps....

Before...

After...


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